Big Hairy Monsters

In this day and age, everyone in America has heard of the elusive, apelike creature known as Sasquatch. More often known as Bigfoot, there are hundreds of sightings that occur every year in the United States alone. However, there are also dozens of reports of large and hairy humanoid monsters that have little to nothing in common with the Sasquatch at all. To distinguish these creatures from Bigfoot, some researchers have taken to calling them "Big Hairy Monsters", or BHMs for short. Despite there being physical similarities to the Sasquatch and his relatives, there seems to be something strange about these creatures, perhaps even something supernatural.

Although they may look the same physically, there are a number of differences between the Sasquatch and the Big Hairy Monsters. Whereas Bigfoot and his kind appear predominantly in heavily-wooded wilderness areas, Big Hairy Monsters are usually encountered in heavily-settled urban and suburban areas that aren't fully capable of supporting a large primate in terms of food, water, and shelter. While water might be easier to come by, food (plants and animals, assuming that the Sasquatch is in fact omnivorous) and shelter are much harder to find for an undiscovered hominid to find in a city or even a small town. Plus, Bigfoot tends to be a shy, retiring creature that avoids making contact with people if at all possible. BHMs, on the other hand, are not so unsociable. These creatures are said to approach humans on a regular basis, and have been reported pounding on household walls, walking up to parked cars, and even looking into windows. Furthermore, while the Sasquatch is only aggressive when threatened, any such behavior is limited to growling, roaring, and throwing sticks or rocks in an attempt to scare away the intruders. Alternately, Big Hairy Monsters are far more aggressive and will attack not only humans, but animals, vehicles, and even houses with little provocation. According to eyewitness reports, BHMs have been known to kill and carry off pets and livestock, presumably to devour later at their leisure. Such violent behavioral tendencies suggests that these monsters are possessed of unnatural strength and endurance, and thus encountering a BHM would be inadvisable, to say the least.

As stated earlier, the Sasquatch and Big Hairy Monsters may look very similar, but there are ways to tell them apart. The Sasquatch resembles a hairy, bipedal ape of humanlike proportions and stands roughly six to eight feet in height. Its body tends to be covered in fairly short, shaggy hair that is black or brown in color, while the face and the palms of the hands are bare and covered in black skin. The Sasquatch's feet are by far its best-known features, being fourteen inches long on average and having five toes with relatively flat soles. Big Hairy Monsters, on the other hand, tend to show a wide degree of variation in regards to physical features. They are described as being between three to fifteen feet in height, having hair of just about any length and color, and footprints show that the beasts have two to six toes on each foot. But other, more frightening features have been reported as well. Witnesses have reported BHMs as having fangs that protrude from the mouth, long talons on the fingertips and the toes, webbed hands and feet, and most disturbingly, no heads. Another feature that eyewitnesses commonly describe are glowing red eyes. But these eyes appear to be glowing from an internal source, and do not seem to be simply reflecting a light source (a phenomenon known as eyeshine), as seen in cats, wolves, and other nocturnal animals.

In addition to those traits mentioned above, witnesses have noted that both the Sasquatch and Big Hairy Monsters each have a very distinctive smell. Whereas Bigfoot emits a musky odor or smells like sweat or a wet dog that slept in a goat pen during a rainstorm (as one man so eloquently put it). BHMs smell a whole lot worse. People who have encountered such creatures say that Big Hairy Monsters smell like burning garbage, sulfur (or rotten eggs), feces, or a decaying corpse. One particular eyewitness (no name was given) described one such monster as smelling like "the sweat of a hundred high-school football teams." In other words, it was just plain awful! On a more peculiar note, however, the Sasquatch's odor usually disappears when the creature itself leaves the area (although faint traces of the smell may remain for a short time). However, in the case of Big Hairy Monsters, the smell lingers in the area for a considerable amount of time after the monster has departed. Interestingly, in some cases it has been noted that people and animals alike may suffer a very violent reaction to a BHM's odor. In one notable case in Missouri in 1972 (the case of Momo, the Missouri Monster), a dog belonging to the Harrison family became extremely sick after being exposed to Momo's scent. Its eyes turned red and watery, and the dog vomited for hours afterwards until the owners managed to calm the poor animal's stomach with bread and milk. Who is to say that people might not be affected in the same way? Needless to say, even smelling one of these beasts can have unpleasant or even harmful side-effects. Thus, it is always wisest to take precautions and be careful.

According to cryptozoological studies and eyewitness reports, the Sasquatch is an intelligent animal that displays many humanlike traits, but otherwise behaves like a wild animal. In the Pacific Northwest (and other parts of the world), the Native Americans say that the Sasquatch possesses supernatural powers and dwells with others of its kind in organized societies, but they also attribute such traits to other animals (like bears and even fish) as well. Contrary to Bigfoot, Big Hairy Monsters do not behave like corporeal beings consistently enough to be classified as such. In some cases, BHMs have been seen to materialize and dematerialize without warning, while in other instances a trail of footprints will start or stop very abruptly, as if the monster itself had suddenly disappeared. The fact that these creatures have continuously evaded capture and cannot be followed for long periods suggests that these beasts are not entirely physical beings. They may be only semi-corporeal entities, able to take on a semisolid form in order to feed or defend itself, but only for a limited amount of time. The reason for this is uncertain, but it may have something to do with the true nature of these beasts, an inherent limitation placed on them by a higher power, or perhaps some type of energy limitation. Nobody can say for sure, but it is entirely possible that these monsters are spiritual or even interdimensional in nature.

So, exactly what are these Big Hairy Monsters? It is certainly possible that a small number of these sightings are of an unknown species of primate, but what about the rest? Given that these beasts possess many distinctive traits that distinguish them from the Sasquatch and other hairy hominids, this scenario is unlikely (although not impossible). To find the answers, one must enter the realm of the supernatural. Here, everything is not always what it seems to be. In his controversial book Monsters: An Investigator's Guide to Magical Beings (first published in 2001, and then recently revised and republished in 2011), ceremonial magician and occult researcher John Michael Greer proposed a radical theory as to the true nature of the Big Hairy Monsters. He makes several compelling connections between these beasts and faery lore, and Greer proposes that these monsters may in fact be solitary faeries. He also notes that, in the older lore, such creatures frequently have a thick layer of hair or fur covering their bodies (much like the medieval Woodwose). Greer's theory definitely has merit in the field of paranormal research, but scientists will most likely reject the theory outright and will remain skeptical or otherwise critical of such things until definitive proof is obtained.

Now that the probable nature of these creatures has been revealed, there is no doubt that these Big Hairy Monsters are very dangerous. Not only are they aggressive towards both humans and animals alike, but the evidence indicates that they may be carnivorous (dogs in particular seem to be a favorite meal). In addition, these creatures seem to be in possession of supernatural powers, which includes (but is not limited to): unnatural strength and speed, the ability to appear and disappear at will, possible invisibility, the power to induce sickness in both people and animals (most likely through the awful smell they give off), creating unnatural fear in eyewitnesses or potential victims, and being impervious to bullets (although it is unknown if wrought iron or silver rounds have been tried). However, if BHMs truly are faeries, then they may be susceptible to cold-forged iron and salt, while holy icons like the crucifix and holy medals may have some power over them. Anyone who has been affected by the stench of these creatures should be fed bread and milk (both of which were traditionally offered to faeries in return for a favor or as a reward for behaving) until the sickness passes. But on the other hand, these things may not work at all. Still, it is best to be prepared for any kind of situation.

Nobody knows what these Big Hairy Monsters really are, nor can anyone be sure how violent these creatures can really be. If provoked, these beasts could easily tear a human to pieces. Caution is said to be the better part of valor, and it cannot be emphasized enough that caution is absolutely vital when dealing with these monsters. Recklessness could very easily put the lives of others in danger. Needless to say, be careful of encountering any kind of hairy hominid, even if they aren't solitary faeries.

Sources

Greer, John Michael. Monsters: An Investigator's Guide to Magical Beings. 10th Anniversary Edition. Woodbury, Minnesota: Llewellyn Publications. Copyright ©2001, 2011 by John Michael Greer.

Comments

I would like to take this opportunity to thank John Michael Greer for graciously allowing me to write about his theory here. I would also like to point out that the faery theory presented here belongs to John, and should not be used without his permission. I have only expanded and added my own thoughts to his theory here. For those who are interested in purchasing his book, the link may be found here: Monsters: An Investigator's Guide to Magical Beings. It is also available for purchase from Amazon and Barnes & Noble.